As we saw from the previous article, forgiveness provides a lot of benefits in one’s life. Even though forgiveness is the key that opens the door to many treasures, it isn’t easy to obtain. Many people of various ages and experiences fail to harness the power of forgiveness. There are a few ways to make the process of forgiving easier. Keep in mind that there is a difference between forgiving others and allowing others to take advantage of you.
Accept suffering
It is a fact that suffering is part of life. There isn’t anyone in the world that went through their entire life without some form of suffering. Life is a gift, but every gift comes with responsibility. There are many things that can cause suffering. Sometimes we suffer from the result of something outside of anyone’s control. Other times we suffer because of mistakes that someone else made or maybe because of our own mistakes. No matter what the source of suffering is, it is important to accept it.
Once you accept that suffering is merely a side effect of the gift of life, you’ll be more prepared for the blow, similar to how boxers are prepared to get punched when entering a match. Obviously, the punches will still hurt the boxer. However, he accepts it is part of the sport and continues to try his hardest no matter what. This is the mindset that you must have. You will face many obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be set up by others to stop you.
Once you have the boxer mindset and accept the punches that life throws at you, you’ll be able to forgive the past and continue to try your best. You’ll expect to take a few blows, but you’ll know that if you keep ongoing, you might win the game. If you have this attitude, forgiving people will naturally come easier.
Don’t allow anger to bottle up
Even though anger has its benefits, one shouldn’t allow this emotion to bottle up inside them. Even though the most polite and calm people will eventually fall victim to this emotion. It would be a wise choice for people to develop a healthy method of releasing their anger. There are many approaches to tackling this problem. No method is better than the other. You have to choose a method that is best for you and your situation.
When it comes to anger stemming from a grudge, the best thing to do is to find someone to talk about your issues with. Everyone’s thoughts can fall into tunnel vision. People’s minds can get clouded with thoughts no matter how wise, wealthy, or educated they are. The only way to break this cycle is by introducing yourself to the thoughts of others. If you listen to other people, they’ll show you a perspective that you never saw. These perspectives might work or they might not. The point is that you won’t be stuck in your own perspective.
The best people to talk about your problems with are family members and close friends. Since they knew you for a while, they’re some of the best people that can guide you through the situation. If you are in a position where this isn’t feasible, then you could hire a therapist. They studied how to improve the mental wellbeing of people for years. If you have the money, then this is worth the investment. If you lack the funds for therapy, then you could purchase books that focus on your problem.
Know that you aren’t perfect either
It is natural to be angry when you are wronged by someone. There is no denying that whoever wronged you should be penalized. It is important to remember that no one is perfect. I can guarantee that no matter how smooth that you seem to be coasting through life, there were times where you made mistakes. I’m pretty sure that most likely you wanted to be forgiven. Forgiveness works both ways. We all aren’t the main characters of the universe. We aren’t the special ones that don’t have to abide by the expectations that we place on others.
If people have a grudge that they can’t let go of, they should think about the times where they made a mistake. Did they want forgiveness? Did it make them decide to clean up their act? How did their mistakes make them feel? Before judging others, it is important to look at yourself and your character first. If they analyze their own mistakes, they’ll probably be more likely to forgive.
You’re on your own
Just like a boxer, when it comes to life, you’re by yourself in the ring. Life isn’t inherently fair. It is best to have the mindset that you know you aren’t owed or guaranteed anything. Some people might be your biggest fans and cheer for you. Others will hope for your downfall. When it all comes down to it, fans and critics are opposite sides of the same spectrum.
At the end of the day, you’re in the ring fighting by yourself. Everyone else is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is your goals. Focus on yourself. If you have the mindset that you aren’t owed or guaranteed anything and that you’re on your own in life, then it’ll be easier for you to harness the power of forgiveness. You’ll understand that holding a grudge is a waste of your time. It’ll do nothing but delay you from accomplishing your goals. You’ll understand that thinking about other people is a waste of time. You are the only one that can accomplish your goals.